Nothing But Words

Kai’s Kindergarten Graduation

[mpiphoto=226,right,scale,200]From an American’s perspective, Kai’s graduation from kindergarten was fairly typical… for a high school senior. From beginning to end the whole thing took about three hours. There were songs, slideshows, speeches, the ceremony itself, and multiple rounds of various group photos.

Most of the dads took at least part of the day off work to be there, and many local dignitaries were also in attendance. Several of the moms were there in formal kimonos, which is a big deal, as getting them put on just right, plus the requisite hair and make up work, is something of an undertaking. Many of the moms were also crying as the kids got their diplomas. I had to restrain myself from blurting out “it’s just kindergarten!” Actually, many of these kids are only children, and - generally speaking - the Japanese seem take the milestones of childhood development more seriously than Americans. So, with those things in mind, their feelings are understandable. I genuinely felt for one of the moms as she burst into tears when her son got his diploma: he’s both mentally and physically handicapped, and this graduation was probably one of the last experiences he’ll have where he can participate just like all the other kids his age (I imagine in first grade or soon thereafter he’ll be moved into a special program).

The first video on the left is Kai getting his diploma. The second one is a portion of one of the songs the kids sang. They paused at various points during the song so the kids could shout out what their favorite activity was during the school year. Kai’s line is at the end of the clip. He memorized what to say in Japanese “Ken wo tsukutte asobu no tanoshikatta desu.” That roughly translates to “I enjoyed making swords for playing.” There’s actually a lot going in the grammar of that sentence, some of which is beyond my experience (like the katta suffix on the adjective tanoshii (enjoyable), which I just looked up - it makes it the past tense). For now it’s just something he memorized, but now that he’s starting first grade and getting some Japanese lessons, I imagine his Japanese will be better than mine by the end of June, when we head back to the US.

Kai had a great time in kindergarten. He made friends with the two other boys in the class who speak English. Even though Kai won’t be in the same school as them for 1st grade, he’ll still see them for playdates (the girl in the picture with Maria is Naname, the younger sister of Kai’s classmate and friend Kaito - their dad is American). I’m sure Kai will make new friends in first grade as well.

[tags]Japan, Tokyo, kindergarten, graduation[/tags]

Kai and His Bags of Trash

[mpiphoto=217,left,scale,350]On Thursdays when I pick up Kai from school, we always have to walk home instead of taking the bus. This is because we’re too loaded down with his bags of trash for me to carry them and manage Eidan and his stroller all at the same time on the bus.

Perhaps “trash” is too strong a word.

On a regular basis, the parents are expected to bring in all their paper recyclables to the school, as well as plastic bottle caps, cups, etc. Every day the teachers let the kids have at it - along with some tape, glue, and ribbons - to create whatever they want. Kai has made jet packs, guitars, cash registers, rockets, and myriad other items - too many for me to remember. Then every Thursday, they bring all their creations home.

As we take the 30 minute walk home, Kai gives me a very animated presentation on each of his creations. When we get home, we throw out everything from the prior week to make room for the new stuff, because 1. his creations aren’t built to last, so most of them are destroyed after a week, and 2. in our tiny apartment, we don’t have any space for accumulating Kai’s trash creations.

Kindergarten is over now, and Kai clearly misses working on these projects. We’ve been finding him furtively digging through our meager cans of recycling, and voicing frustration at not having nearly enough material to work with for whatever fantastic creation he has in mind.

[tags]Japan, Tokyo, kindergarten, recycling[/tags]

Bousai Kunnen: Now That’s a Fire Drill!

Kai starts 1st grade next week, and I have a backlog of posts to write about his time in kindergarten. So brace yourself for my next few posts: they’re all about going to kindergarten in Tokyo.

Back in January, I attended one of many events at Kai’s school where a parent was expected to be there. This one was a fire drill. It’s not like the US where they just ring the fire alarm and then tell the kids to file out in an orderly fashion. I remember those fire drills from childhood, where they would also tell us about “stop, drop, and roll” and things like that. But now that I’ve experienced a Japanese fire drill, I have to say my childhood training probably wouldn’t have helped much if I were ever really in a building that was on fire. Just being told what to do when you’re in a burning building doesn’t really prepare you for the disorientation of actually being engulfed in dense smoke.

For fire drills in Tokyo, the local fire department brings a portable canvass “smoke room” to the school, as you can see in the pictures. Also, the school has fire proof hats for the kids that make them look like extras from a Dr. Who episode (but starting in 1st grade they’re expected to buy and bring their own hats). The smoke room isn’t that big, and all the kids had to do was go in one side and come out the other. No big deal, right? Well, after the kids were done, the parents were invited to try it as well. I put a hand towel over my mouth as I was instructed, and as soon as I stepped in I was completely blinded by the smoke. I figured all I had to do was walk straight, so I took a few steps, and a few more, and then a few more… and then I started to worry, as I thought I should have reached the exit by then… Maybe I didn’t quite go straight… maybe I’m actually headed to the corner, and I’ve missed the exit. So I started waving an arm in front of me as I took a few more steps so I could feel for the exit, and to my relief I found the exit flap and headed out.

So, a lesson learned: those action movies we’ve all seen with folks running around in burning buildings - it isn’t like that at all. You actually can’t see even two feet in front of you.

[tags]Japan, Tokyo, kindergarten, fire drill[/tags]

Kai’s Birthday Party at School and Hinamatsuri (Girl’s Day)

[mpiphoto=120,leftclear,scale,300]

Click for a very cute video of Kai’s classmates singing a Japanese Happy Birthday song. One of the cool things about Japanese is that it has onomatopoeic words for feelings, not just sounds (like “bang!” in English). The kids sing “uki uki” which is for feeling excited.

Kai’s birthday is in March, and yesterday at his school they had a party for all the kids in the class with March birthdays, and to celebrate Hinamatsuri (Girl’s Day, aka Doll Festival). As you can see in the pictures, the birthday kids had to stand on stage. It started with one of the teachers pretending to hold a microphone and asking each of them about their favorite food. Kai’s teacher prepped him beforehand, and he knows the Japanese word for rice - gohan - so he answered with that.

Then they each had one of their parents join them on stage, to present the child’s “treasure.” Kai had me bring a toy dinosaur (it was sent to him in Japan by my father and step-mother, and Kai and I painted it together). The night before Maria helped me write up what I would say in Japanese, as it was too complicated for me to get through it without notes. I think everyone understood me, as I definitely got a reaction out of the kids with “issho ni kazarimashita” (we decorated together - for the folks in my Japanese class, I’ve put my entire, 30 second presentation below - I wimped out and wrote it in Romaji).

After that the kids sang a very cute Japanese happy birthday song, then they did a big circle dance, and we finished up with sakura mochi, a traditioinal Girl’s Day snack.

My Presentation of Kai’s Dinosaur:

Kono kyooryuu wa Kai ni daiji na mono desu.
This dinosaur is Kai’s treasure.

Daiji to wa naze wa mitsu no riyuu ga arimasu.
There are three important reasons why.

Hitotsu: Kai wa kyooryuu suki na no desu
First: Kai likes dinosaurs (dinosaurs are Kai’s favorite)
[I don't fully understand the role of "no" here, even after Maria explained it to me...]

Futatsu: kono kyooryuu wa papa to issho ni kazarimashita
Second: he decorated this dinosaur together with his father

Mitsu: kyooryuu moderu wa America kara ojii-chan to obaa-san ga okutta mono desu
Third: the dinosaur model was sent from America by his grandfather and grandmother
[okutta is an adjective form of the verb okuru (to send) - it's outside my experience but a good explanation is here, under the "hard to understand" heading ]

Ijo desu!
That’s it!

[tags]Hinamatsuri, Girl’s Day, Japanese kindergarten[/tags]

Kai’s School - Takanawa Yochien (Kindergarten)

Kai in his school uniform, ready for his first day of school at Takanawa Yochien

Kai in his school uniform, ready for his first day of school at Takanawa Yochien

Kai started school on Tuesday. This was the day we’ve been worried about for months, as we had no idea how he’d react to such a different environment, where he didn’t even speak the language.

The night before he was bouncing off the walls with excitement. It turns out he loved his first day, and he’s loved every day since. He says he doesn’t mind that he can’t understand what the teacher says most of the time. Between miming and the little bit of English the teacher speaks, they seem to work things out. Also, there’s another American boy in the class, who started in December, so Kai has someone he can speak English with.

While Japanese schools in general are more rigorous than US schools, this isn’t the case with kindergarten. It’s mostly arts & crafts and playtime, and not much reading or math. Kai seems quite happy to not have to work as hard as he did at his school at home.

In one respect, however, the school is more rigorous, but it’s a burden that primarily falls on the parents. We were given a 16 page manual before Kai started, outlining a multitude of rules and expectations. From an American perspective, it’s the kind of thing you’d expect from a 19th century boarding school, not a current day public school. For example, for lunch he’s expected to bring a napkin of a very specific size with a ring in the corner, a cup of a particular shape and color, another sippy cup containing water but no straw of any kind, and so on. The only thing we’re not going along with is the expectation that he wear little gray shorts in the dead of winter. The teacher says it’ll toughen him up. Maria says it’s “a throwback to the old British tradition (i.e., making kids miserable).”

Kai is already holding Maria to the Japanese “supermom” standard - read this hilarious article to see what I’m talking about. After seeing how expertly prepared the other kids’ bento lunches were, Kai inspected Maria’s work the next morning, to see if it compared favorably. Fortunately, Maria passed
Kai’s teacher is going to make a “home visit” to visit our apartment next week, which is something the teacher does with all the parents. Privacy expectations are also something that’s quite different in Japan.

Unfortunately, our neighborhood kindergarten was full, so he’s attending a school that’s about a 30 minute walk away, or about 20 minutes on buses (two different buses are involved, with a bit of a walk between them). So far the weather’s been good - I don’t look forward to that journey with Kai and Eidan on a day when it’s cold and rainy.

Kai is registered already for 1st grade, which starts in April, and fortunately that school is across the street from us (the Japanese go to school year-round, and the school year starts in April).

Tweedledum and Tweedledee

There really are no words to describe this video, so I’ll just say: watch and enjoy (it’s kind of long, so depending on the speed of your connection, it may take a minute or so to start up).

Mama’s Boy

There’s a saying that the oldest child is the father’s child, and the next child is the mother’s. That’s definitely true with our boys. When Kai was an infant and a toddler, Maria often felt a bit left out, as Kai always glommed on to me. Now, with Eidan, the shoe is on the other foot. And it’s even more pronounced with him, because he’s more openly affectionate than Kai was. Maria is regularly peppered with hugs and kisses throughout the day. And me? I get nuthin. Well, once a week or so I’ll get a hug, but that’s about it.

An interesting aspect of this is that Eidan is very friendly with men. He’ll happily run up to men who are strangers, and he’ll gladly let any man pick him up. But, other than Mommy, he doesn’t like women to get close to him. This was frustrating for my sisters and my mother when we went to visit this summer. Eidan warmed up to them eventually, but he was instantly friendly with my father and brother. Maria is the only woman for him. I’m sure that’ll change by the time he’s a teenager
The last time I wrote about Eidan I reported that he said his first word - “no.” He stopped saying “no” after just a few days, and hasn’t said it since. But he’s added “hi” and “bye” to his vocabulary, along with vigorous waving. What’s freaky about this is that he says “hi” and “bye” in a low, raspy voice. It’s not at all what you’d expect from a baby - hearing these words come out amidst his usual stream of babble is a bit startling - it’s like suddenly hearing your dog start talking.

Yesterday he said “shoes” and pointed out the window. He knows “shoes” means its time to go outside, and there’s nothing he loves more than being outside.

I can’t emphasize enough what a terror Eidan has become. I have now come to fully understand and appreciate the sportscaster phrase “you can’t stop him, you can only hope to contain him.” He literally runs around the house with the sole goal of creating as much chaos as possible: laundry flies out of the bathroom and down the stairs, books fly off shelves, toys and food are thrown everywhere. And for him, it is all sheer joy. The weather turning colder is going to be a big problem for us. The back yard is the best place for his exuberance. There may not be much left of our house if he has to stay in it for days on end, when it becomes too cold to play outside.

Finally…the Rest of the Newport Pictures

Here are the pictures from Maria’s 3 week stay in Newport with Kai and Eidan. I was there first with the boys for one week (that’s the previous batch of pictures), then Maria and I switched places. I came to visit them on the weekends, thanks to Southwest airlines cheap fares from Philly to Providence.

As I mentioned before, I worked on remodeling the bathroom while they were away. The pictures will be coming…Maria had the digital camera, so I had to use our old film camera, and I still need to finish the roll.

The farm pictures are from the farm where my brother John works. The Taiko drummers were part of Newport’s annual Black Ships Festival. They were playing at none other than Toppa Field (named after my relative and local legend, football coach John Toppa). It’s a shame the photo of Maria, Eidan, and my sister Rebecca has so much glare in it - otherwise it would be a great picture.

Please don’t use the navigation arrows when you pull up the pictures, otherwise you will miss many of them. A project I’m hoping to get to during our stay in Japan next year is the photo management software I’ve been wanting to write - I want to do things like pick my own order for displaying photos, even if I’ve picked photos from different albums.

Watching Clouds, “Kill the Wabbit,” and the Origin of Man

Last Friday night we kept the boys up late so we could all go see Bugs Bunny on Broadway - the Philadelphia Orchestra performed live, accompanying Bugs Bunny cartoons projected on a big screen. Before it was dark enough to show the cartoons, the orchestra did a short performance, which - as you might expect - Kai found boring. So we lied on the lawn and looked for shapes in the clouds. This isn’t something I’ve taken the time to do with him before, and I can’t tell you how great it was. I continue to be astounded at how curious he is - after talking about the clouds for a few minutes, he asked about how the dinosaurs died, and then he wanted to know how the solar system was formed, and then he wanted to know where the first person came from. He understood my explanations for the first two, but he had a hard time wrapping his mind around evolution (sorry folks, I didn’t go with the biblical explanation). But he didn’t give up - he kept asking me about it in different ways until he felt he had a handle on at least some of it. I’m now a true believer in lying on your back and staring at the sky - it’s probably the best way to have a conversation without distraction. Given that we live in the Age of Distraction, this is no small feat.

Kai wasn’t familiar with the old Bugs Bunny cartoons, as they’re not on TV much anymore. He loved them. Of course, he was probably influenced by the huge crowd around him laughing, and the fact that he was up way past his bedtime. If you’ve ever been around kids who are up too late, their behavior is indistinguishable from that of a drunk, except that they’re more frenzied. The same goes for Eidan - with everyone around him laughing, he had a big grin on his face most of the time. Fortunately, he fell asleep before having a meltdown (which is the big risk of keeping kids up too late).

Given the live orchestra, two “musts” for the show were The Rabbit of Seville and What’s Opera, Doc?. I laughed pretty hard at the “Rabbit of Seville” - I had almost completely forgotten this one, so the gags seemed new to me. But of course I hadn’t forgotten “What’s Opera, Doc?” from my childhood - as with many of my generation (and probably the generation before) it was my first exposure to opera. I will never be able to appreciate “Ride of the Valkyries” as it was intended. To me it will always be the “kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit!” song (and I’m sure I’m not the only one). I just learned from the Wikipedia page I linked to that many consider it the greatest animation short of all time. Seeing it for the first time as an adult, I can understand why - the scoring (dozens of hours of Wagner condensed into 6 minutes), the animation, the voice work, and the many satirical jabs are all brilliant.

Eidan the Destroyer

Probably the only thing harder than herding cats is trying to change a cat’s diaper. Unless he’s asleep, Eidan simply does not sit still, and that means I often can’t change his diaper without getting into a test of will, strength, and agility (since I only win consistently on strength, the outcome is not always certain). Eidan is much more boisterous and expressive than Kai was as a baby, so Maria and I are getting a whole new experience in parenting. One if his favorite games is for you to get on your hands and knees and square off against him in several rounds of head-butting. He will wiggle and clap to any tune he hears, and he’s generous with hugs and kisses. But if you’re not giving him the attention he thinks he deserves, he won’t hesitate to crawl over and slap you in the face. He’s at an age that is quite challenging for parenting, in that he’s very active and adventurous, doesn’t fully understand the risks around him (stairs, electrical outlets, etc), and his ability to understand us and take direction is very limited. Kai has nicknamed him infanto destructo, as he will pull down, tear up, chew up, and throw around anything he can get his hands on. Books and toys are the things he most commonly leaves scattered behind him in his path of destruction. He was measured at 92nd percentile for height at his most recent checkup, which means even though he’s only 10 months old, he can reach up onto most tables now. So trying to keep things out of his reach is like trying to move things out of the way of a flood. Even though he’s a little guy moving on all fours, he is very, very fast. As the saying goes, you can’t stop him, you can only hope to contain him.

Back in May, Maria took the boys the Denver, and then made a short trip from there to San Francisco with Kai (I stayed home and worked on our 3rd floor bathroom). Here’s a random assortment of photos from their trip, from home, and Kai’s graduation from pre-school.